Rebuttals

Upon reading Aylen's blog most recently, I felt the urge to offer a rebuttal to the things said in it.

here it is in it's entirety, but separated for my rebuttal

*A*Recently, I was uncollared. I loved being "normal". He did not. There are pieces of me which hate the collar on my neck. I do not need it there for me to know where my place is with Him. Though I do fear His lack of happiness without it on my neck will make Him tire of me.

*S* It is not that I would tire you my girl, it is rather unsettling to me. To me, it comes across as non clearly defined roles. If you are free, where are the lines drawn? what should be allowed and what should not be? Another question I have is if you are not my "slave" does that mean that I am really that bad as a Master that I am a tyrant?

*A* I get tired of trying to figure out how to explain. It is something I see, it is something I fear. I know He loves me. He knows I love Him. However I think in everything, He will truly only love someone who is His slave. Nothing more, nothing less. I think He loves the title of Master, an empowerment in a word.

*S* I do love the title of Master, it is what I am.It excites me, empowers me, and makes feel responsible all wrapped in to one. That should show you there. I do truly love my girl. But i love you not because you are mine, but because you are you, and I would have it no other way. You are so special and close to my heart in ways you may not even realize. I try to show you how special you are often as I can, but I wonder sometimes if you see it that way, or if you see it as "just a Master enjoying his girl".

*A*I miss being able to call the one I love by their real name, not a title. I do not suppose He sees that or can even realize it. There are time I want to just be us, not Master and slave. In the long run though it matters not what I feel and wish. His happiness and His desires are all that will ever truly matter.

*S* As far as this goes, there is evidence in the Gorean novels of such. In book 3 as you may remember (though you were bored, lol) Vika asks,and Tarl addresses this very thing. I do Agree myself, it is pleasurable to hear one's name on the lips of a beautiful girl (slave or not). All this said, I believe in our relationship we have certainly established the balance of power, so you may call me Spencer without me getting upset and at your discretion. It was never really and truly an issue, but before you do so, I wish you to ask me officially. This is to be a blanket permission and you need not ask me again. Once will suffice :)

*A* I finally figured out how to explain the "I feel like property only." Like I said we love one another. I feel that while I love Him no matter His "name" He can only love what is "His". If I am not "his" with a collar locked upon my neck, a symbol I am his however he pleases, I am nothing and he is unhappy, fearful even. I want to feel as if no matter my status he still loves me, needs me, wants me, and desires me. Many times I feel he really only desires me if I am in PVC his fetish.

*S* This goes back to an earlier part. Having the collar around your neck is more to me then just a symbol that you are mine. Maybe this will help explain to you what it means to me and why i was so bothered when you removed it. To me, as well as to many Goreans on earth that I have observed, your collar represents a promise to me. In many ways, I consider it tantamount to a wedding ring. Though we are not married, it is how I feel. It represents all the promises we would typically make in a normal relationship, those of love, fidelity, and non abuse. When you asked me to remove your collar, as silly as it sounds, it felt as if you were taking off your wedding band. When I was married, my wedding band came off once. That was on Christmas eve when my wife announced to me that she was lusting after another guy. She had gone to spend time with a pregnant friend in Clarksville, TN. she was supposed to have come back the week before Christmas, but as that week progressed, I had not heard from her, nor did i have a way of reaching her. My mother happened at that point to bring me her phone bill where there were calls to Clarksville dating back a few months. I took a chance and called the number, and got a hold of her. She sounded extremely indignant, and came back that eve. That was Christmas eve, and I was so angry I hurled her present across the street. my wedding ring flew off , and I was never able to locate it. that was the last time I ever wore one. To address the PVC fetish, I desire you always, but PVC really drives my libido. There is something about the feeling, blah blah blah, you know the routine. When you wear it, it is you I desire. I do find it very sexy. Here is one thing I never understood. If someone knows that something turns their mate on, and that is the desired effect, what is the harm in dressing to that desire? It makes you no less desirable when you are not wearing it, and you are still loved for who you are, and the fact that it is you inside, but it does enhance feelings and emotions. If you remember back in the days of IMVU, I loved to see you in PVC and latex because I liked the way it looked. it was not just the material, but what was inside the outfit. It is no different now, as I see it. Even if you were not in your status, I still like seeing it.. I have been attracted to such since about 83 or there abouts.. I did not know how or why then though. lol.

*A* I do not know how to fix these things. I wish I did. I would give anything for a solution we could both live with eternally. Until then I am just a silly slave girl who fears becoming complacent to not displease her Master, wishing she could just have a dominant love of her life.

*S* Perhaps what we needed is a bit of communication, and for you to understand why I feel some of the ways I feel. We both know that should you truly desire to, you are not physically bound. though I know your heart is, your body is not. Some things I feel may be discussed.

*A* And yes, I know I agreed to these terms. It does not mean I have to like them all the time. It is kind of the difference between these two sentences in my mind. "Please fuck your little slut Master." and "Make love with me (insert name here)." One is sexy to one person and not always to another. There has got to be a way that we can both be happy.

*S* Yes you did, and I know you do not always care for the conditions. That said, I am not always in the mood for roughness either. I believe, over time I have demonstrated such. I know you have things that you deem as sexy as well,and I believe as i have always believed there is a time for softness and caring and a time for a more guttural , animalistic feel.

*A* Yes, I gave Him back my neck to collar. I sacrificed my thoughts for His happiness. In servitude there is no "I" "Me" "My". He is all that will ever truly matter. His wants, wishes, desires, and happiness will always override mine. It is as it is written to be.

*S* Whereas this is true, it is not how I view it. Of course there are times when I am selfish, just as you are, but I try to be mindful of the situations at hand. Take for instance if you are not feeling well. I am Usually considerate of such and do silly things like make sure you are OK, even if you are laying down, I go in and watch you to see how you sleep, make sure your hair is out of your face, and even tuck you in. If I too am tired, I will often times lie next to you and hold you just to make sure you are OK. It is the role of protector within me. The one that would defend his love with his life and if she is ill, make sure she gets better. All this not because an ill girl can not serve me well(though I think that thought may have crossed your mind at times) but because there is a very deep seeded love I feel for you because you are my love. I feel there is happiness on both sides, though not exactly as you may wish it all the time.


Spencer